Dear First Gen,

​For as long as I can remember, I was so excited at the thought of being a first-generation college #graduate. Before I knew it, my final semester was coming to an end and it was almost time for me to start my new life. Thankfully, the week before graduation, I accepted a job working at a high school in Mississippi. I would not start my job for a couple of months, but that was cool with me. I could use a nice summer break for a change!

While I was looking forward to what I’d be doing in the months to come, I was struck with the fact that I had no immediate plans until it was time for me to move. I literally did not even know where I was going to lay my head for the next few months. I was certain though that I was not going to move back home because a large part of me was concerned that I’d be taking a step back. I was too worried about other’s thoughts of me having failed because I was back home.

I was frantic the week of #graduation because everything was happening so quickly. Not only did I need a place to stay, I would also no longer be employed at the place where I’d been working since my freshman year of college. I remember feeling so doomed at this point because graduation was now only a few days away and I really needed to pull it together.

I was getting scared because it started to hit me that I would no longer have access to a residence hall, cafeteria, or safe place. I would no longer be a part of the campus community and would lose quick access to my professors and mentors. While I had a laptop, I was going to have to give it back because it was only loaned to me as a part of my accommodations for being an Honors College student.

I had no idea where my money was going to come from or where I’d get my next meal. I was losing all sense of security that I’d had for 4 years and it felt like a small crisis. However, I knew that it was on me to take care of my business and myself.

Two days before graduation, I was chatting with my sorority sister—who was also about to be a first-gen college grad—about her plans for summer and she was as frantic as me about not having a place to stay. We decided to take the little money we had and split a cheap two-bedroom apartment until it was time for me to move to Mississippi. I don’t recall how she found the place, but we submitted an application that day and found out the next day we’d been approved. As soon as she got the call, we hurried over to pay our deposit and pick up our keys. (Oh, gosh! I was a real adult!)

Moving after the graduation ceremony was pretty easy for us since we had no beds, dining table, kitchen utensils, couch, food in the fridge… nothing. Yet we had a place to stay and that was better than just a few days prior.

Eventually, we started accumulating furniture: I bought a blowup bed from Walmart and we got a couch that had been donated to us. Soon, my sister got a table from Walmart that we put together in one night.

Our groceries were often milk and cereal, eight-piece chicken from Walmart, spaghetti, and tacos. It wasn't glamorous, but we were fresh out of college and we didn’t want for much, so we were good. I also got a temporary job with my old employer and was able to work for a month until I relocated.

Looking back at that time of my life, I often laugh because while I had a college degree, my life didn’t look anything like what I thought it would. See, having a degree doesn’t mean that all of your challenges, financial or otherwise, are going to magically disappear.

However, I learned quite a few lessons and some I’d like to share with you:

1. While the push may be to think about your career and where you’ll be working, take a moment to think about where you’ll be living. If going home is the best option because of finances, don’t be afraid to do it. Going home does not mean you have failed; you’re just recalibrating before your next launch. If going home is not an option, see if you can rent a room or find a roommate to share expenses.
2. Think carefully about your job situation. If you currently have a job, and don’t have another lined up, be sure that you understand what’s happening before you graduate. Will you get more hours? Are you eligible for a promotion or raise? Is it practical to stay in the area and keep the job or relocate the job (if possible) and make more reasonable living accommodations?
3. Just because you’ll be away from #mentors, #professors, and #supervisors does not mean you have to lose touch with them or that they aren’t accessible to you. Reach out to them because more times than not, they’ll be willing to help you if they can.
4. Be sure to surround yourself with positive, understanding, and undeniably supportive people. One thing that helped me get through that particular summer was having a strong and compassionate tribe. We helped each other out as best as we could and were willing to stand in the gaps for one another whenever possible.
5. Be patient with yourself and the process. Transitions can be very difficult, and being a first gen, you don’t always know exactly what you should or shouldn’t be doing next, and it can be hard to ask for help when you don’t know what kind of help to ask for at the time. I didn’t quite reveal that I was clueless about what I was doing next because I had a job and that was the main focus after college—yet, it was so much to learn and figure during the time in between.

The world is big and learning to face it can be scary; however, there are so many people who have traveled a similar road, so don’t ever doubt that you’ll be just fine. No matter the situation you’re faced with, trust that you’ll figure it out.

Fellow Riser,

Dr. Eve Hudson
(Host behind The First-Gen Lounge)

​***Disclaimer: 2019. All rights reserved. All data and information provided on this site is for informational purposes only. No reproduction of any content on the website without the express permission of the author. The text, pictures and videos are the sole property of FirstGenRise.

As a First Gen, I like to triple check that my next step is based on facts and assurances, but some decisions need only faith. I started this blog by leaping and without knowing the specifics of the schools that would support it and students who would rely on the information. Now, the blog has evolved into highlighting outstanding First Gens, guest posts from First Gens, challenges, a book and audiobook, speaking engagements, and much more to come.

In the spirit of living beyond your wildest dreams, I encourage you to "leap, and the net will appear." Best of Luck!

Fellow Riser,

Irnande


​***Disclaimer: 2019. All rights reserved. All data and information provided on this site is for informational purposes only. No reproduction of any content on the website without the express permission of the author. The text, pictures and videos are the sole property of FirstGenRise.

Dear First Gen,

There was a time when I did not get so ANXIOUS about writing.

There was a time when I was confident about my writing skills and yearned to learn different styles of writing.

There was a time when I wrote poetry.

Then, I slowed down and no longer was excited.

I still write....for work and message cards, but with great TREPIDATION.

However, recently, my #self-doubt slowed down when I discovered #grammarly. @Grammarly has helped me to feel more confident when I send emails, drafts, newsletters, etc.

If you would like to learn more, click here.

In the recording below, I share a few stories from my youth and adult years that continue to remind me of my WRITING FEARS. My writing has developed and  Grammarly has helped to identify errors and offer suggestions to improve the flow. I recommend this tool if you are looking for a proofreading source and some CALMNESS to your nervousness.

Tell me:

Do you have moments of discomfort when it comes to your writing?
Do you agonize over every word and sentence before you hit send or share your writing with others?


Fellow Riser,

Irnande
​

Dear First Gen,

​In my book, The Rise of a First Gen, I suggest that students should “Learn their #professors.” I mentioned this because it is a common belief among First Gens that, “As long as I do my best, I should get good grades.” This is partially true, but reaching out to professors to know their teaching and #gradingstyle will help you out, too.
 
So what is the best approach to building a good relationship with your professor? They make it really easy on you by holding office hours.
 
I learned the value of office hours firsthand when I was in college. I had performed poorly on an exam and was in a state of panic about how to improve. To ease my concerns, I went to speak with the professor during her office hours. 

Professors have so much information to teach in a short semester that it is rare to have days to ease into the teaching techniques or the syllabus. Luckily, #officehours exist on day one and you can get to know the mind of your professor in that setting. 

Now available is the "Master your Professor's Office Hours" eBook. (click image) This checklist will help you master your office hours so you and your test scores can rise.

Fellow Riser,

​Irnande 

Dear First Gen,

Has a friend or family member you have known for 5-10 years made you feel unlike yourself? Has someone close to you asked, "who are you?"

I am proudly not the same person I was when I left college, graduate school, or law school. It was not intentional, but my new persona took form with each new life experience. A fellow first gen told me once that I carried myself differently when I celebrated events. I was also questioned about my interests in certain leisure activities. Who knew it would invite so many puzzled looks and thoughts?

Former First Lady #MichelleObama will publish her first book this year and it is entitled #Becoming. In the video below, I relate the title of her book to me consistently being asked at various stages in my life, who are you? I share how I really feel when asked. 

Tell me: What is your opinion of this question? How have you responded?

Fellow Riser,

​Irnande

***Disclaimer: 2018. All rights reserved. All data and information provided on this site is for informational purposes only. No reproduction of any content on the website without the express permission of the author. The text, pictures and videos are the sole property of FirstGenRise.

​Dear First Gen,

Starting a new job can bring anxiety and excitement. You may be anxious because you want to perform your absolute best and do not want to mess up. You may feel excitement because you went on countless interviews, submitted hundreds of resumes, reached out to your contacts to have them put in a good word, and maybe had the church and your parents praying for you––I know I did!

But at long last, after all the “no”s, you heard a “yes”! After the final interview, you received a phone call where you were offered the position and you knew you probably shouldn’t scream, but you kind of wanted to.

In November 2017, I started a new job as a policy director and said a bittersweet farewell to my chief of staff role with a state senator. I was with the senator for 4 years and I will definitely miss it. But it was time for me to make a transition—I needed to rise to new challenges and experiences.

In my new role, I have learned three things that are important for a new hire. Not only do you have your own goals to reach but also you have all eyes on you until you’ve proven yourself. In my case, my orientation was around the holidays so there were fewer meetings and tasks to complete, but I knew peak season was approaching.

1. Read, Read, Read. You should read as much as you can about the organizational structure, office culture, external stakeholders, board of directors, former programs and events, industry news, and meeting notes and reports. There may come a time in your new role where you are expected to represent the company, so you want to know as much as you can prior to that date. This is also an opportunity to ask questions of your supervisors or colleagues to get a firsthand account of how things have worked in the past and how they will work in the future. As you read, think about your contribution and how you can support or improve an existing program or event.
2. Be Flexible. Although I was given a job description, I knew my position was new and would evolve over time. There have already been plenty of times when my schedule changed because it was better for me to attend a meeting rather than sit in the office or vice versa. There are days you will walk into work with a plan of exactly how your day will go, but others may need you to help them with a project, or a printer may go down, or you have meeting cancellations due to snow. Don't harp on it. Be flexible on those days and move on. Being flexible with others will help you when you are seeking it from others in the future. If you were understanding when someone needed to reschedule, they most likely will remember that and return the favor when something comes up for you.
3. Create Systems. Find ways for certain responsibilities and duties to become nearly automated. When you are in your busy season, you want to know you have certain aspects of your job that are almost second nature, set in a routine where you barely have to think about completing the task. For example, if there is a weekly email you are expected to send out, draft the contents of the email and prepare the template for any attachments so you are only plugging in new the information week after week. If you have personnel information you are to submit on a monthly basis, set up a spreadsheet and create a calendar reminder to get it done a week or so prior to the deadline. Often, you may be pulled in a different direction and may not have the time to give it the proper attention, and you do not want to make mistakes. Given that you will still be learning your organization, office, or business, I suggest creating flow charts or outlines that help you understand your role and responsibilities. While the seasoned veterans in your office may have a full understanding of everything that's going on, it may feel like putting together a jigsaw puzzle to you for a bit. Create a system for how you plan to process new information. There may be times when you want to ask for help, but a certain individual is busy. Be prepared to figure out how you will learn about it on your own or approach them in a way that is not disruptive.

I wish I were told about these three suggestions before I started, but I am glad I picked them up during my first 30 days. People are watching you even when you think they are not. Your actions, decisions, and methods are under observation because they chose you and it's up to you now to prove that they made the right decision. But don't forget to have fun and start building relationships in your new role. You worked hard for it and have waited to get the perfect offer. Embrace this new opportunity!


Fellow Riser,


Irnande


​

***Disclaimer: 2018. All rights reserved. All data and information provided on this site is for informational purposes only. No reproduction of any content on the website without the express permission of the author. The text, pictures and videos are the sole property of FirstGenRise. ​​​​

Dear First Gen,

Happy New Year! #NewYearNewMe

What worked well for you in 2017? Are you continuing with it in 2018? In the video, I share three character traits I believe helped to elevate me last year and one #weakness I plan to eliminate because it limited my rise.

Tell me: What three characteristics helped you to shine? What characteristic held you back from progress?

Fellow Riser,

​Irnande

Dear First Gen,

​When I think about my journey, I am reminded that I did not arrive where I am today on my own. There were a few amazing advisors and mentors that guided me along the way. They offered me good advice that I share with my interns and others I believe would benefit from the information.

But it wasn't always easy to find a good mentor, either. There were instances when I sought someone to be my advisor/mentor and it yielded great results. Other times, I had to kindly distance myself from people because I no longer saw a benefit to our relationship.

When I was a student, my assigned career advisors served me well. I remain connected with a couple of them to this day. But there were several times I decided to venture out and speak to the head advisor.

In college, I attempted to meet with different advisors because they rotated in and out of the positions. I needed to meet with several of them so they would know my needs and be able to assist me when someone else was not available. In this case, I couldn't have a “regular” advisor.

I made it a point to meet with the Dean of the Career Development Office in undergrad because this individual was consistent and possessed invaluable information, like access to off-campus positions I needed for my field placement courses.

In law school, I scheduled advising appointments with the Dean of the Career Development Office as well. He had expertise about positions I was seeking and told me about the school’s reciprocity policy, which I used even after I graduated. My meetings with him were always helpful and I usually went to him even after I had met with the other advisors if they were unable to help me in the way I was looking for.

Whether I wanted to know how to work in a judge’s chamber or for a non-profit, locally or in my home state, my initial meeting with an advisor often clued me in how our working relationship would work. I became a good judge of not only who would be accepting of my numerous questions, but also who would give me a thorough explanation. I was looking for specific and actionable advice on the process or strategies to improve my chances of getting an internship or securing a job.

The common thread among each advisor I encountered was their willingness to help upon seeing that I was eager to be guided. They understood that I would not stop seeking their help until I obtained the results I was looking for. I sometimes learned after the fact that they talked with one another to find a different approach for helping me reach my goal.

Over the past 10 years, I have identified a key characteristic I look for in an effective mentor: their openness to serve as a mentor.

Dear First Gen,

When you decide to go to #lawschool, there are a lot of expectations. You’re obviously expected to excel in law school, but you are also expected to obtain internships and, ultimately, a job.

Securing an #internship is vital to your professional success, and of course so is getting that job after graduation. To make the most of your meetings with your #careercounselor, you should have your list of questions ready in advance.

The following set of questions is a good starting point.
​

1. Who is invited to participate in on-campus interviews (#OCIs)?
2. How do I get considered for a government attorney position?
3. When are regional and state career fairs held?
4. What is the application process to intern with a judge or become a #lawclerk?
5. Are there any alumni in my preferred geographic location?
6. Which law professors do you recommend I speak to who graduated from a specific state or practiced in an area of my interest (i.e. criminal law, legislation, contracts)?
7. Does the law school have a #reciprocity policy?

My hope for you is that your career counselor will provide you all the details you need to help you find the internships and job opportunities that are the best fits for you. If a career counselor seems unsure of what you're asking or doesn't seem to be a good fit, don't be afraid to make an appointment to speak to another career counselor or the head of the career office. Good luck!

Dear First Gen,

​(This is a chapter from the book, "The Rise of a First Gen".)

For many years, I could not forgive them. I was too upset with them for what they did.

It began in 3rd grade when I was introduced to the violin. I had violin classes during my math class and I loved it.

I learned how to play the strings and reveled at the music I was playing. I was given my own violin to take home and practice when I had free time.

My enjoyment turned to sadness when my math teacher told my parents that my grades were slipping. They told me we did not come to America for a low academic performance.

My parents did not have a conversation with me or give me a chance to improve. I was simply removed from violin class and my violin was returned to the music store.

No longer could I learn the melodies that brought a smile to my face. No longer could I develop the skills to play a musical instrument.