How Hot is the Pressure?

Dear First Gen,

When we were growing up, my brother and I were reminded consistently that we were expected to perform extremely well in class. One of my friends told me a story of her upbringing that may be familiar to you. When she came home from school and showed her parents her good grades, they would ask, "Did another student receive a better grade than you?" If she said yes, the next question would be, "Why are you not at the top of the class?" My friend is brilliant and skillful! But in her parents eyes, being second, third, or fourth in a huge graduating class was just not “good enough.”

Immigrant parents often have very high expectations for their children, and as First Gens, we work overtime to meet or exceed them. But there is more to it than having the desire...there are situations that sometimes derail us. It is commonly unacceptable among foreigners to acknowledge feelings of guilt, insecurity, and doubt; rather it is expected that you will overcome them and never discuss the difficulties you faced. I can attest that there is a positive side to being raised to always find solutions to each "surface" problem, but what about the inner problems?

Tell me: How have you coped with your emotions when feeling depressed or pressured?

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In this post, my beloved cousin, Judeline Altema, and I share our experiences as First Gens and talk about a few exercises that may help calm you in moments of anxiety and family pressure. 

Judeline Altema is anticipated to graduate at the end of 2016 with a master’s degree in Mental Health Counseling and has a certificate in Drug and Alcohol. She has worked as a Case Manager in disability services for 8 years, and in the mental health field for 3 years. Her area of specialty is counseling and providing services for at-risk clients with dual diagnoses. 

Fellow Riser, 

Irnande



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