Dear First Gen,

​You made it! The first 30 days were light, full of orientation activities, and maybe one or two deadlines. Then another 30 days went by where you gained some responsibilities, and probably made a few mistakes due to misunderstandings. Now, your first 90 days have passed. You are still in the learning phase, but you are starting to get the hang of how things work.

In The Four Agreements by @DonMiguelRuiz, he advises his readers to make #fouragreements with themselves when moving through life. One of those agreements is especially applicable when you are a new hire: “Don’t Take Anything Personally.”

Don’t fret when you get an acronym wrong, or need to send a second email to a group because you made a mistake in the first one.

Don’t get offended when your opinion on a topic is not selected because it is in the minority and not the majority.

As a new employee, there is a learning curve you will have to adjust to. As long as you are progressing along the curve, you shouldn’t beat yourself up.

It’s important to keep this agreement in mind in the workplace. You could think a colleague or supervisor has a gripe with you because they corrected you on a few occasions or marked up your drafts to a point that it is hardly recognizable anymore. What I have learned is that some people like to have things written or presented in a certain way, and maybe you just haven’t learned their way quite yet. That preference is usually due to the fact that they have been doing it that way for 6 or 7 years.

Even after #90days, I’m still learning and trying to pin down concepts. I frequently attempt to summarize my day or meetings in a way that will allow me to get the main points or takeaways. After I have written my notes, I also discuss them with my supervisor to make sure I got everything right. During each conversation, there has been a fact or observation I missed because I was unaware, or it went over my head.

Each time my supervisor adds another piece of information, I could have taken it personally and concluded that they thought I wasn’t paying attention. But that’s not the case.

Instead, I am taking the initiative to make sure I am picking up on the things I was supposed to, and taking a chance to learn more. During those meetings, I am only bringing what I learned, but my supervisor is bringing a wealth of information and historical context to help me along the way. I appreciate my supervisor taking the time to explain and help me grow in my role.

The first 90 days were not easy—I spent several weekends working on assignments so I would not get behind, reviewing concepts too many times to count so I would not be too confused in meetings, and then thinking of how I could make my mark and contribute in a way that is valuable.

These 90 days were the start of my growth and moving forward. I have committed to not taking it personally when I continue to have moments where it shows I am new in my role.

Being the new person is fun, so enjoy it and know that this bumpy road you are on is leading you to rise!

Fellow Riser,

​Irnande


***Disclaimer: 2018. All rights reserved. All data and information provided on this site is for informational purposes only. No reproduction of any content on the website without the express permission of the author. The text, pictures and videos are the sole property of FirstGenRise.

​Dear First Gen,

Your first 30 days have passed and the next milestone will be 60 days at your new job. The excitement of being the new person in the office has worn off and you are probably being looked at more closely and being expected to produce “better results” than 30 days ago.

I hope you are still enthusiastic about your position and the work you are doing. My last post offered three suggestions on how to make the most out of your first 30 days. You should continue to use these strategies as you move into the next 30.

Things may start to move pretty fast. In my new role, I was asked to take the lead fairly early on. Only 30 days had passed when I was told by my supervisor to attend a meeting on my own and to take the lead in a drafting assignment. Even if I wasn’t sure I was ready, my response was immediately, “Sure. I’ll do it.”

I was fortunate that it was just one meeting that week, which gave me a chance to reflect on the meeting and how best to execute on my assignment. When I took a crack at drafting a document, it was returned to me with several errors noted—and those errors were in places where I thought that I knew the concept or task well.

The two lessons I learned from this experience?

Accept the Leadership Role. If you’re asked to take on a leadership role early on, it’s probably because you have been producing good work so far, and your supervisor believes in your capability to handle more responsibility. You may be nervous and concerned about your lack of preparation or knowledge, but you should not shy away from the opportunity. After all, if you turn this chance down, they may not ask you again. Take your chance to show—and develop—your skills. However, if you do not feel prepared or are certain you cannot complete the project as assigned, don't hesitate to ask for guidance, assistance, or to split the role with someone else. After my first leadership role, I thought about what worked, how I represented myself, and how I tackled the assignment. It gave me an opportunity to work on the clarity of my notes and think about what I would like to do the next time I am attending a meeting alone.

Learn from your Mistakes. The sooner you accept that you are new to the position and the format, structure, or procedures, the sooner you will learn the best way to tackle a task. It’s better to make and learn from mistakes early on so that you’re not spending too much time correcting your mistakes after you’re well-established in your new role. Mistakes are an opportunity to learn the best way to produce your best work. As your time increases in your job, your responsibilities will increase, and that’s not the time to make costly errors. You’ll need to be diligent about your time management once you have more responsibility, so let's get those mistakes out of the way early on, so you can move on to bigger and better things!

These two lessons are key to moving forward in your position. If you are seeking to rise, I think this would help you to climb the ladder and shine your brightest in this new position that you’ve worked so hard to attain.

Fellow Riser,

Irnande

​
***Disclaimer: 2018. All rights reserved. All data and information provided on this site is for informational purposes only. No reproduction of any content on the website without the express permission of the author. The text, pictures and videos are the sole property of FirstGenRise. ​​​​

​Dear First Gen,

Starting a new job can bring anxiety and excitement. You may be anxious because you want to perform your absolute best and do not want to mess up. You may feel excitement because you went on countless interviews, submitted hundreds of resumes, reached out to your contacts to have them put in a good word, and maybe had the church and your parents praying for you––I know I did!

But at long last, after all the “no”s, you heard a “yes”! After the final interview, you received a phone call where you were offered the position and you knew you probably shouldn’t scream, but you kind of wanted to.

In November 2017, I started a new job as a policy director and said a bittersweet farewell to my chief of staff role with a state senator. I was with the senator for 4 years and I will definitely miss it. But it was time for me to make a transition—I needed to rise to new challenges and experiences.

In my new role, I have learned three things that are important for a new hire. Not only do you have your own goals to reach but also you have all eyes on you until you’ve proven yourself. In my case, my orientation was around the holidays so there were fewer meetings and tasks to complete, but I knew peak season was approaching.

1. Read, Read, Read. You should read as much as you can about the organizational structure, office culture, external stakeholders, board of directors, former programs and events, industry news, and meeting notes and reports. There may come a time in your new role where you are expected to represent the company, so you want to know as much as you can prior to that date. This is also an opportunity to ask questions of your supervisors or colleagues to get a firsthand account of how things have worked in the past and how they will work in the future. As you read, think about your contribution and how you can support or improve an existing program or event.
2. Be Flexible. Although I was given a job description, I knew my position was new and would evolve over time. There have already been plenty of times when my schedule changed because it was better for me to attend a meeting rather than sit in the office or vice versa. There are days you will walk into work with a plan of exactly how your day will go, but others may need you to help them with a project, or a printer may go down, or you have meeting cancellations due to snow. Don't harp on it. Be flexible on those days and move on. Being flexible with others will help you when you are seeking it from others in the future. If you were understanding when someone needed to reschedule, they most likely will remember that and return the favor when something comes up for you.
3. Create Systems. Find ways for certain responsibilities and duties to become nearly automated. When you are in your busy season, you want to know you have certain aspects of your job that are almost second nature, set in a routine where you barely have to think about completing the task. For example, if there is a weekly email you are expected to send out, draft the contents of the email and prepare the template for any attachments so you are only plugging in new the information week after week. If you have personnel information you are to submit on a monthly basis, set up a spreadsheet and create a calendar reminder to get it done a week or so prior to the deadline. Often, you may be pulled in a different direction and may not have the time to give it the proper attention, and you do not want to make mistakes. Given that you will still be learning your organization, office, or business, I suggest creating flow charts or outlines that help you understand your role and responsibilities. While the seasoned veterans in your office may have a full understanding of everything that's going on, it may feel like putting together a jigsaw puzzle to you for a bit. Create a system for how you plan to process new information. There may be times when you want to ask for help, but a certain individual is busy. Be prepared to figure out how you will learn about it on your own or approach them in a way that is not disruptive.

I wish I were told about these three suggestions before I started, but I am glad I picked them up during my first 30 days. People are watching you even when you think they are not. Your actions, decisions, and methods are under observation because they chose you and it's up to you now to prove that they made the right decision. But don't forget to have fun and start building relationships in your new role. You worked hard for it and have waited to get the perfect offer. Embrace this new opportunity!


Fellow Riser,


Irnande


​

***Disclaimer: 2018. All rights reserved. All data and information provided on this site is for informational purposes only. No reproduction of any content on the website without the express permission of the author. The text, pictures and videos are the sole property of FirstGenRise. ​​​​

Dear First Gen,

Happy New Year! #NewYearNewMe

What worked well for you in 2017? Are you continuing with it in 2018? In the video, I share three character traits I believe helped to elevate me last year and one #weakness I plan to eliminate because it limited my rise.

Tell me: What three characteristics helped you to shine? What characteristic held you back from progress?

Fellow Riser,

​Irnande

Dear First Gen,

I attended law school out-of-state and in my final year, I made the decision to return home and sit for the #MarylandBarExam. I began making arrangements to sign up for the bar prep course and move back home.

It could have been risky move—I had sold everything I owned from my apartment, but I didn’t really have any contacts to help me find a job. There are four key strategies that I implemented, which most likely helped me find employment within 2 months of the #barexam.

1. In the months leading to the bar prep course, I met with the Dean of the Career Development Office to discuss my options of finding employment back home. He shared with me that I should research the law schools in the Washington, DC, Maryland, and Virginia area where I might be interested in accessing their jobs database. Low and behold, there was a reciprocity policy between several of the institutions. This meant that I would be granted access to the employment databases of these schools so long as the career office made the request.
2. After the bar exam, I became a member of my state’s bar association, because new law school graduates get a free 1-year membership. I looked on their website to find any local/minority/specialty bar associations that I could join. These would have a smaller number of members and thus would increase my chances of networking and gaining more information on the legal profession in Maryland.
3. New law graduates may have an opportunity to gain experience representing clients during the bail process if there is a state-run attorney program for indigenous communities. Depending on where you will be or are licensed to practice, the state may offer it in each jurisdiction (county or city).
4. I sought to meet other new law school graduates and #youngattorneys, so I joined the young lawyers section (YLS) of the state’s bar association. This was a great connection for me because I could learn how Maryland’s employment opportunities work, and get inside information on the places that were hiring. #YLS hosted networking events as well as community service events, which helped me meet people in groups and make one-on-one connections. I preferred the community service events because they would be for a full day or over several days. This gave me a greater chance to have longer, in-depth conversations with my peers. The networking happy hour events were shorter and seemed to work best for people who knew each other. Also, an added bonus was that the community activity could have been related to an area of law, like wills and estates, or healthcare decisions documents, which gave me an opportunity to develop practical skills.

This is short list of the approaches you can use when you want to get the ball rolling on meeting people to help you find a job in the state you are licensed in, but may not have any contacts or have graduated from an out-of-state law school. Implementing any of these suggestions will require work and patience, but the reward is worth it!

Fellow Riser,

​Irnande


***Disclaimer: 2017. All rights reserved. All data and information provided on this site is for informational purposes only. No reproduction of any content on the website without the express permission of the author. The text, pictures and videos are the sole property of FirstGenRise. ​​​​

​Dear First Gen,

​I told you in my last post about my journey to healing. But some of you may be saying, “Am I allowed to heal? Am I allowed to feel hurt?”

This is something I struggled with for years. And my fellow first gens, I believe you and I have every right to feel hurt, but also every right to seek #healing.

But just as we've battled other #hardships, there will always be others who tell us we have no right to feel hurt.

Some say that if we do not like it here, we should go home. How is that so if we were born here or escaped to #America for refuge? America is our home. We are home!

For more than 30 years I have been living under a veil and recently it was removed from my eyes. My intimate circle is nothing like what I have seen in the news recently. When I hosted a launch party for my blog, the friends who came to support me came from different backgrounds, and I am proud to call them my #circleofinfluence.

When I hear harsh words from people that seek to diminish the value and beauty of multiple races and ethnicities to only leverage their own, it shocks me because when I look at my first gen community, we are so much more than our complexions. What is more alarming is that the hurt and pain we feel from these images and statements are often silenced. We are not given the right to feel hurt, to work through the pain, or to heal. We are told, “If you don't like it, go home.”

Below is a video on my authentic, vulnerable perspective on the topic of #immigrants in America. First gens, this is our home. Don't let anyone tell you otherwise. #celebratefirstgen

Dear First Gen,

My whole life, I have not stopped to heal.

What does it mean to heal anyway?

Every choice or decision I have made in my schooling and my career was for a reason beyond my own self-interests. I excelled in school because it was necessary for my family. I put in long hours at work because I had a reputation to uphold. I sacrificed taking several days off work despite many days feeling under the weather or overly committed.

I have been going and going, like a nonstop flight, and I have not taken time to check in with myself. Maybe I need to be making time to heal.

You may be wondering what I need to #heal from.

Well, I never took time to heal from the instruments that I was prohibited from playing. Or the birthday celebrations I didn't have. The vacations I didn't take and the summer camps I didn't attend. The “normal” childhood I missed out on.

Or how about healing from being seen as someone accepted into school or offered a job under #affirmativeaction policies rather than for my own merit? Or the countless hours I spend rewriting emails in fear that I'll come off as “another incoherent person with immigrant parents”?

It can be exhausting having to defend myself if I use an accent when saying certain words, speak to my parents in their native language, or have my credentials questioned even after putting in the work to be seen as a qualified applicant.

Individually, these instances may not leave a lasting mark. But built up over decades, being continually questioned and having to prove myself, it's possible that I need some time to heal.

It is rare for me to share this publicly. I was raised to believe that there were certain things I would not be afforded, so I had to be strategic and intentional when pursuing each and every goal in my life. It was always reinforced that nothing was going to come easy for me. I was not born into any privilege, and I would always have to work for what I wanted.

When I wrote my first blog post, I started to heal from the various #unapologetically first-gen moments I have lived. How? Other people reached out to me to let me know they went through the same things, or would share their own story with me.

After I posted “Hard Knock Life of a First Gen,” my cousin who is in high school told me that his mom took him out of trumpet class to focus on science. We spoke to my aunt about how it made him feel and she said that he can take trumpet lessons when he is older.

It is possible that it's too late for this cycle to be broken, but my cousin did not harbor any ill feelings about his mother's decision. Just like me, he understood the bigger picture that all first gens learned at a very early age.

Our families came to the United States to achieve The American Dream. But often, this constant reminder can be hard to swallow and doesn't give us the time we may need to heal those wounds of what might have been in our childhoods.

As an adult, I have been reminded of the importance of healing. Now, I make it a priority to find space and time to heal because it has helped me to recognize why I may act a certain way when something is withheld from me or when I feel “robbed” of certain moments.

For me, healing was and is necessary. I just wish I'd learned that sooner in life.

Tell me: Have you made time to heal? If so, how do you heal?

Fellow Riser,

​Irnande



***Disclaimer: 2017. All rights reserved. All data and information provided on this site is for informational purposes only. No reproduction of any content on the website without the express permission of the author. The text, pictures and videos are the sole property of FirstGenRise. ​​​​

Dear First Gen,

​When I think about my journey, I am reminded that I did not arrive where I am today on my own. There were a few amazing advisors and mentors that guided me along the way. They offered me good advice that I share with my interns and others I believe would benefit from the information.

But it wasn't always easy to find a good mentor, either. There were instances when I sought someone to be my advisor/mentor and it yielded great results. Other times, I had to kindly distance myself from people because I no longer saw a benefit to our relationship.

When I was a student, my assigned career advisors served me well. I remain connected with a couple of them to this day. But there were several times I decided to venture out and speak to the head advisor.

In college, I attempted to meet with different advisors because they rotated in and out of the positions. I needed to meet with several of them so they would know my needs and be able to assist me when someone else was not available. In this case, I couldn't have a “regular” advisor.

I made it a point to meet with the Dean of the Career Development Office in undergrad because this individual was consistent and possessed invaluable information, like access to off-campus positions I needed for my field placement courses.

In law school, I scheduled advising appointments with the Dean of the Career Development Office as well. He had expertise about positions I was seeking and told me about the school’s reciprocity policy, which I used even after I graduated. My meetings with him were always helpful and I usually went to him even after I had met with the other advisors if they were unable to help me in the way I was looking for.

Whether I wanted to know how to work in a judge’s chamber or for a non-profit, locally or in my home state, my initial meeting with an advisor often clued me in how our working relationship would work. I became a good judge of not only who would be accepting of my numerous questions, but also who would give me a thorough explanation. I was looking for specific and actionable advice on the process or strategies to improve my chances of getting an internship or securing a job.

The common thread among each advisor I encountered was their willingness to help upon seeing that I was eager to be guided. They understood that I would not stop seeking their help until I obtained the results I was looking for. I sometimes learned after the fact that they talked with one another to find a different approach for helping me reach my goal.

Over the past 10 years, I have identified a key characteristic I look for in an effective mentor: their openness to serve as a mentor.

Dear First Gen,

When you decide to go to #lawschool, there are a lot of expectations. You’re obviously expected to excel in law school, but you are also expected to obtain internships and, ultimately, a job.

Securing an #internship is vital to your professional success, and of course so is getting that job after graduation. To make the most of your meetings with your #careercounselor, you should have your list of questions ready in advance.

The following set of questions is a good starting point.
​

1. Who is invited to participate in on-campus interviews (#OCIs)?
2. How do I get considered for a government attorney position?
3. When are regional and state career fairs held?
4. What is the application process to intern with a judge or become a #lawclerk?
5. Are there any alumni in my preferred geographic location?
6. Which law professors do you recommend I speak to who graduated from a specific state or practiced in an area of my interest (i.e. criminal law, legislation, contracts)?
7. Does the law school have a #reciprocity policy?

My hope for you is that your career counselor will provide you all the details you need to help you find the internships and job opportunities that are the best fits for you. If a career counselor seems unsure of what you're asking or doesn't seem to be a good fit, don't be afraid to make an appointment to speak to another career counselor or the head of the career office. Good luck!

Dear First Gen,

​(This is a chapter from the book, "The Rise of a First Gen".)

For many years, I could not forgive them. I was too upset with them for what they did.

It began in 3rd grade when I was introduced to the violin. I had violin classes during my math class and I loved it.

I learned how to play the strings and reveled at the music I was playing. I was given my own violin to take home and practice when I had free time.

My enjoyment turned to sadness when my math teacher told my parents that my grades were slipping. They told me we did not come to America for a low academic performance.

My parents did not have a conversation with me or give me a chance to improve. I was simply removed from violin class and my violin was returned to the music store.

No longer could I learn the melodies that brought a smile to my face. No longer could I develop the skills to play a musical instrument.